Somerset - The news from the UK is grim tonight amid confirmation that the Third Reich has seized control of an old people's home and is persecuting residents' relatives over basic human rights.
At the heart of the controversy is a concerned man who took his 104 year-old mother home for Christmas dinner and was raided by the police after a care home said she'd been kidnapped.
Staff at the Colditz Old Folks Home in North Curry, Somerset, took exception to the little old lady being taken home by her 69 year-old son by way of a treat on Christmas Day.
The centenarian had been subjected to what her son said was aural torture after care home workers placed a Santa Claus movement detector that spewed non-stop cheesy Jingle Bells muzak each time she so much as sneezed.
"This kind of noise pollution is banned by the Geneva Convention, of course," a Medical Foundation for the Victims of Torture source commented tonight.
But the cheapo Christmas decoration is standard issue at the Colditz whose care workers behave like they think they are the Fuhrer.
Last month the Government promised to finally strip social workers and other care employees of their special, police-like powers to detain anybody they reckon they can get away.
A North Curry policeman said tonight: "Don't ask me, I just work here....Poor bloke's been stitched up by the Political Correctness Mafia, I reckon."
Bargam Airbase used to run similar scams under the banner of extraordinary rendition laws.