Incredible news has reached us that Prime Minister David Cameron has taken his Christmas festivities a tad to far and has clearly shown he is not exempt from the long arm of the law.
After a heavy political year for 'Dave', which saw unions throwing their toys out of the pram, the drama surrounding the recent summits and the sticking up of his two fingers (or one, take your pick) to the rest of the EU, to name but two problems for the PM, it appears that he imbibed one too many glasses of mulled wine last night, climbed up onto the roof of number 10, pulled down his 'off duty' M&S jeans and mooned in the direction of France, allegedly shouting, according to one eye witness:
' Kiss this you jumped up little frog bastard, and the rest of your shower of european twats, and as for that old trout Merkel I hope she chokes on her Christmas strudel.'
Despite the pleading of his wife Samantha, and the presence of several concerned members of number 10 staff, including the head chef who tried to tempt Mr. Cameron down with his favourite of boiled egg and soldiers, all attempts to calm the irate Premier failed. In desperation, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg was contacted and rushed down to the scene to mediate, but was given short shrift by Mr. Cameron and told 'sod off back to your Spanish bit of skirt,' and informed that he 'couldn't run an egg and spoon race let alone a country.'
After a brief scuffle with police, the Prime Minister was arrested and carried off the roof by six burly policemen, his derriere now clothed, but only by his union jack boxer shorts, having thrown his trousers off of the roof earlier on, which resulted in them landing on Chancellor George Osborne's head.
Quite how long the PM will remain in custody remains to be seen, but sources say he will be released early tomorrow morning. It is understood that the Prime Minister requested a longer stay than usual following a drunk and disorderly arrest as 'it is the best nights sleep and bit of bloody peace and quiet he has had for ages.'