Written by Joe Leff
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Monday, 26 December 2011

A giant sloth, trying to cross the main street, brought traffic to a standstill in Romford, Essex.

For several days, the giant sloth was first seen hanging one-handed from a street lamp - nothing unusual by Romford standards. But it was when it dropped on to the pavement near the zebra crossing that the problems started.

Bemused and kind-hearted motorists stopped to allow the giant sloth to cross the road. After 8 hours there were 10-mile tailbacks in both directions, and the sloth wasn't even half-way across.

After two days, some motorists gave up, turned round and drove away spouting a series of curses involving various other deadly sins.

Back in the middle of the zebra crossing, the giant sloth was stretched out, apparently glowering in the attention of TV camera crews and the Animal Protection League (Very Slow Creatures Section).

The Highways Authority are proposing to roll up the crossing and take it away, leaving the giant sloth undisturbed. "But this proposal has to be approved by local and regional committees - and this could take ages," said the chairman, as quickly as he could.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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