Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 26 December 2011

image for Philip to be treated with homeopathetic maggots
The daft twerp is Mrs Thatcher's brother and shares the same DNA as the Yorkshire Ripper

Cambridge - They famously cleared up Princess Margaret's anal warts following delivery complications from giving birth to eldest offspring Visc**nt Linley.

Now the larval descendants from the blue blooded bluebottle colony are being sent to Papworth's Royal Freak Hospital to sort out Prince Philip's recurring hallucinations.

It is hoped the nifty little nibblers will remove the blockage that keeps pressing on the 'reality section' of the nonagenarian Duke's brain.

The aged duffer will have half a dozen inserted via cardiac catheter from somewhere inside his groin; the sheath will then be guided to its target area before its payload is gently released into the new habitat.

"Apparently the Queen absolutely insists on it," director of medicine Prof Einstein Flintstone told reporters this afternoon.

"Why, only last month she told Kate Middleton to get her 'eggs' treated in situ with in a similar procedure."

Camilla's own omelet tragedy is a case in point.

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