As tens of thousands took to the streets of Moscow to protest against allegedly fraudulent elections, as opposition leaders issued scathing personal attacks on Vladimir Putin in the hope of preventing his return to the presidency next year; Davis Cameron announced tonight that he has authorised RAF air strikes to support Russian rebels.
David Cameron said, " The Daily Mail readers love that sort of stuff and will vote for us in droves; we will remain in power even though the majority of people in this country despise us. We need to promote democracy abroad; not here at home!"
The shadow Prime Minister Ed Milliband said this evening,"Cameron will use the same old rhetoric that he used to justify killing of thousands of innocent civilians in Libya; that they want to 'protect' civilians and overthrow a tyrant to create democracy: when in fact the real tyranny is in here at home; the faux democracy of the coalition government".
David Cameron "Quite frankly I am getting the hang of this war business; and it will detract from the total mess that Yellow Nick and I have made of this country. We gave Gadaffi a right good spanking on our own; we helped our American friends to kill Saddam and Bin Laden; and 'one or two' other incidental people as well. We are off to Iran to sort them out next but we can mobilise our troops over Christmas and New Year to attack Putin's evil henchmen. To be honest we have a lot of troops back from Afghanistan just sitting in front of the television watching old Morcambe and Wise repeats and getting pissed. In such austere times we cannot allow this to happen".
Mikhail Gorbachev has urged Putin to follow his own example and step down. Former leader Gorbachev said on Russian radio that if Putin stepped down now he would be remembered for the positive things he did during his 12 years in power; for example, riding a horse while not wearing a shirt.
Cameron concluded, "Has nobody realised yet; "Rah, Rah, Rasputin - Putin! Putin! Putin!"
Boney M was unavailable for comment.