Written by Joe Leff
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Monday, 19 December 2011

Local walkers rambling in West Sussex stumbled across an ancient wood last weekend. Covering about 10 acres, it had never ever featured on any ordnance survey maps. "It's a bloody good wood," said walk leader Woody Rudd.

The residents of Goodwood have decided to name it 'Edward Woodward Wood' in honour of the famous film star.

"Well, you would, wouldn't you?" said Goodwood's parish councillors. "After all, when Edward Woodward came to Goodwood last year, he said he loved woods. When we discovered this new wood near Goodwood, we asked Edward Woodward if he would like it named after him. Edward Wooodward said he would. We knew he would. Well, you would, wouldn't you - if you were called Edward Woodward."

Some local wood-lovers, however, would prefer the wood to be named 'Woody Rudd Wood', after the walking group's leader. "If it's a choice between 'Woody Rudd Wood' and 'Edward Woodward Wood', then I would rather have 'Woody Rudd Wood', wouldn't you?" said Woody Rudd's brother, Edward.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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