The Death of Kim Jong Ill has come at a perfect time for David Cameron. It has given him the opportunity of thanking Nick Clegg by proposing him as the new leader of North Korea.
In a statement from Downing Street Cameron announced that 'Our Supreme and Everlasting Friend Nick Clegg is to become the new leader of North Korea. He will be taking up his post before Christmas as requested by the Chinese Government who in return will be sold the British Economy at a bargain price.'
Nick Clegg, busy packing his bags for the Far East, only had time for a brief chat when I got in touch. 'Shit' was all he could manage.
The 'Daily Mail' has welcomed the development saying 'Nick has got the reward he deserves for his great efforts to assist the Coalition. We wish him well in his new Post.'
In a crash course to learn Korean it is planned that a vocabulary of several words will be ready for the new Everlasting Supreme Ruler of North Korea: 'Starvation', 'Nuclear', 'Insane', 'China' and 'Wonderful' among them. It is rumoured that Cameron may have several top jobs on offer to other LibDems, Vince Cable among them.
Vince explained 'We have been out of power so long it is a tribute to David Cameron for him to have planned the Salvation of our Party.'