Written by Joe Leff
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Sunday, 18 December 2011

image for ITV newsreader fluffs it
Reginald Wormald

Veteran newsreader Reginald Wormald floundered badly when announcing the weekend's football results. He went to pieces whilst announcing the Scottish scores.

"I struggled a bit with 'Alloa 0 : Annan 1' and by the time I'd spluttered 'Hamilton Academicals' I'd forgotten who they were playing. But when I got to 'East Fife 4 : Forfar 5', I fluffed it," he said.

Reg struggled and made several attempts, but ended up with a severe laughter-suppression fit, before collapsing with hysteria. He was carried out by a camera-man and an assistant editor who was trying to stop the autocue from giggling.

The Scottish F.A. have agreed to re-name several of the offending clubs in order to protect the health and safety of TV newsreaders.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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