Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 18 December 2011

image for Now Brussels Illuminati threaten to downgrade British AAA Battery
The lithium contents can be used to treat mood instability during the great depression

London - "Bring it on!" was the only comment from a consortium of British producers of the Triple-A carbon-zinc battery threatened with downgrading by EU penpushers.

They were joined by manufacturers of the alkaline, lithium and NiMH rechargeable Triple-A equivalents threatened with dumbing down in the current spat over ratings status.

At the core of the row is a sustained Illuminati attack on British battery recycling banks in the City of London.

Brussels 'enlightened ones' want a 10p surcharge on all hazardous waste transactions in a bid to shore up debts of ill-fated French, Belgian and German equivalents.

The move follows a spate of Europe-wide tragedies featuring catastrophic fallout from failing hand-held vibrators, dildos and unisex plug-ins.

"Loada bollox if you ask me," someone in the UK Treasury commented this afternoon.

"Always thought that lithium is a tissue salt used as a chemical cosh in the treatment of mood instability - like bipolar disorder - as well as what what we policy honks call the Great Depression."

A standard AAA+ triple-pack costs about a quid these daze.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 1?

1 4 24 9
83 readers are online right now!

Go to top