Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 18 December 2011

image for Now Brussels Illuminati threaten to downgrade British AAA Battery
The lithium contents can be used to treat mood instability during the great depression

London - "Bring it on!" was the only comment from a consortium of British producers of the Triple-A carbon-zinc battery threatened with downgrading by EU penpushers.

They were joined by manufacturers of the alkaline, lithium and NiMH rechargeable Triple-A equivalents threatened with dumbing down in the current spat over ratings status.

At the core of the row is a sustained Illuminati attack on British battery recycling banks in the City of London.

Brussels 'enlightened ones' want a 10p surcharge on all hazardous waste transactions in a bid to shore up debts of ill-fated French, Belgian and German equivalents.

The move follows a spate of Europe-wide tragedies featuring catastrophic fallout from failing hand-held vibrators, dildos and unisex plug-ins.

"Loada bollox if you ask me," someone in the UK Treasury commented this afternoon.

"Always thought that lithium is a tissue salt used as a chemical cosh in the treatment of mood instability - like bipolar disorder - as well as what what we policy honks call the Great Depression."

A standard AAA+ triple-pack costs about a quid these daze.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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