Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 17 December 2011

image for 1966 World Cup Final Footage Was Doctored By BBC Technicians - England Have Never Won The World Cup!
England - A Creditable 2nd In The Halcyon Days Of '66

Following the BBC Frozen Planet polar bear scenes - which were actually filmed in a zoo - controversy, a probably even more profoundly shocking revelation is about to rock the nation to its very foundations.

Former BBC special effects wizard, Keith Swindles, reveals in his new book that his father made a death bed confession to him in 2006, stating that England actually did not win the World Cup at Wembley on a sunny July afternoon in 1966.

There was no controversial Geoff Hurst 'was it over the line?' debate, and in reality, no dramatic game changing decision by a Russian linesman.

Nor did commentator Kenneth Wolstenholme utter the immortal line: "Some people are coming onto the pitch...they think it's all over....it is NOW!"

The most closely guarded secret in British history was finally blown wide open by Keith Swindles, who asserts in his book that West Germany actually won the World Cup, and that the final score was 5-2 to the Germans.

Swindles asserts that then Prime Minister, Harold Wilson, who was at the match, became infuriated as the game went into extra time, and ordered the BBC to come up with an England win, in order to boost national morale.

MI5 agents immediately got onto the BBC, and an army of technicians went to work in the Doctor Who studio, piecing together stock footage and lifelike animation to depict the England victory.

The results were then broadcast to the nation, under the guise of a live outside broadcast.

"My father was one of those technicians at Wood Lane that day," Swindles revealed. "There were dozens of them locked in there, splicing film together and banging out lifelike animations. Broadcasting it all as 'live coverage.'

"The technical aspects weren't too difficult to overcome, because the actual TV broadcast was grainy and of very poor quality. They probably wouldn't have got away with it today, what with 3D and HD and stuff. The public wouldn't fall for it, but back in '66 they fell for it, hook line and sinker.

"While the nation watched the doctored footage, Franz Beckenbauer made it 3-2 to the Germans. Two minutes later, Helmut Haller scored his second with a far post tap in past Gordon Banks, and Beckenbauer scored a stunning thirty yard volley in the dying seconds to make it 5-2 Germany."

A BBC spokesperson denied that any such doctoring of the broadcast footage had taken place, and insisted that England did, in fact, win the World Cup.

At least in a spiritual sense.

"My dad was a BBC reporter back in '66," the spokesman said. "He told me that the streets were deserted that day, and that everyone was glued to their TV sets. He said you could have heard a pin drop. The BBC has a duty to its licence payers, and to the British public. So England DID win the World Cup - even though they lost 5-2. I don't see why it's such a big deal. The beeb captured the true spirit of '66, never mind the facts. Facts should never get in the way of a good story anyway."

Some people are hopping mad about the deception.

Expect the smelly stuff to hit the cooling machine in coming days.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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