Written by Mudwizard
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Saturday, 17 December 2011

"Yes, it's true I am a Jedi Knight", David Cameron told a packed House of Commons. "The UK is a Jedi Knight country; and we should not be afraid to say so. Let me make it perfectly clear; as a Jedi I am bound to a code of morality and justice".

In a speech in Hollywood on the 35th anniversary of the Star Wars, the prime minister called for a revival of traditional Jedi Knight values to counter Britain's "moral collapse". He said," As a Jedi I used my Jedi powers to negotiate among Euro factions and to defend the interests of our Jedi nation. If necessary, I will use my formidable Jedi fighting skills to quickly end unrest or neutralize dangerous individuals within the European Market. If that is what I have to do to save the Galaxy then so be it".

The PM said it was wrong to suggest that standing up for Jedi Knightism was "somehow doing down other faiths". Describing himself as a "committed" but only "vaguely practising" Jedi Knight, the PM admitted he was "full of doubts" about the 'Dark Side' issues. But he staunchly defended the role of 'The Force' in British politics and said the Jedi in particular was crucial to British values.

"We are a Jedi country and we should not be afraid to say so," he told the audience at The Rex cinema in Hayes.

"Let me state quite catagorically; I am not in any way saying that to have another faith - or no faith - is somehow wrong; But what I will say to you is - may the force be with you".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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