Written by shufflewick71
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Topics: Dappy

Friday, 16 December 2011

image for Dappy from 'N'Dubz' - 'I am the love child of Demis Roussos' shocker!
'I should've stuck to coke that night, ' said Dappy's Mum, as did anyone else with taste in music.

Dappy, the bobble headed gonk and singer (that's a laugh - Ed.) of British hip-hop group, 'N-Dubz,' has sensationally revealed that he is the love child of greek 70's love God and human marquee, Demis Roussos.

He was apparently conceived in the (exceptionally large) toilets of a taverna in Camden, during a Greek Independence Day piss up in 1986, where his Mother worked as a plate smasher.

Roussos and his entourage turned up after a Wembley gig, and after a passion filled tryst, far too much imbibed ouzo, and 9 months of his Mother claiming she 'couldn't remember what the fuck happened that night', a future star was born.

Dappy sensationally revealed all during a tearful appearance on 'Pierce Morons Life Stories' yesterday evening. Tulisa Contostavlos, his cousin and band mate expressed her shock today, during a personal appearance at a 'Free tattoos for chavs' rally in Trafalgar Square:

' Fuck me, I can't bloody believe it? I s'pose he must've got his talent from somewhere. We swore down it was that bloke my Auntie met selling tye dye knickers down at Camden Market, but then to find out it's 'Big D' is mint! Big up to my Cuz for keeping it real on the show.'

Mr. Roussos is said to be demanding a DNA test upon hearing the claims. Dappy's other band mate, 'Fazer' is said to be demanding a drugs test, as he swears down Dappy was whacked on puff during the interview.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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