Written by Ellis Ian Fields
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

image for Cambridge Uni Greeting Advice Blasted By Controversial Academic
Careful!

Keen to avoid upsetting Muslim or disabled students, authorities at Cambridge University have warned their academics against automatically shaking hands.

They fear the traditional western greeting may cause offence to Muslim women and people with some disabilities.

"Dons should read the situation properly and bear in mind that not all people will want to shake hands," says the advice.

A source at the university says academics are also advised to avoid French kissing, fondling and goosing.

Herodotus Chair of History at Hounslow University Ken Lucid called the advice 'stupid.'

"Who on earth do these idiots think they are, for crying out loud?" Said the professor.

"I've got a few of mates up there at Cambridge and they're all capable of recognising that if a hand isn't offered, it can't be shaken!

"Tell you what kind of greeting someone would get if they started telling me how to greet people round here - they'd get a right twatting with a leather-bound edition of Macaulay, that's what!"

Make Ellis Ian Fields's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 3?

4 8 13 12

Go to top