Editor of the, The Spoof, Mark Lowton, today fired all writers for the internet Spoof rag, The Spoof. Lowton, who is known to deal in black market giant gerbils claims the move was to create more efficiency in the editing process.
"We've been stifled by all this editing and editing. Writers don't understand how difficult it is! They write sentence after sentence, with nouns and consonants! They create verbs and adjectives and think they are OHHHH! So damned clever! See Mark! I've written a complete sentence! Aren't you bleed'n proud of me mate?!!!" shrieked Lowton inside of his terrarium/bar on the much lower side of London near Deptford Creek.
Lowton has been known to periodically fire, and/or chase and attempt to attack and kill his writers with the assistance of several beautiful women clones.
"Sick bastard," says Jeanlefete out of earshot at the bar, "He's always sacking us, then rehiring us when he fancies that his rag will look better with actual writing in it. I've got a missus and two girls t' feed and 'ere he goes again with the Bah Humbug rot. There'll be naught under the damned tree this year I can tell you that!"
"Just last year," said J.O. also sitting at the bar next to a fake lesbian, "He shot Monkey Woods in the ass for no reason at all, claimed he was fathering too many bastard sons over there in Thailand. Like its' any of his business!"
"That's nothin'," said Skoob barkeeping, pouring pints, "Why last week when I asked for a my pay he threatened to sick the gerbils on me, ugly damned beggars! They make me want to puke."
The Spoof is scheduled, tentatively of course, to be down for two weeks, beginning Christmas Eve and continuing through New Years. No word as to whether or not writers will be rehired or allowed to live.
"Bah Humbug!" yelled Lowton shooting at chameleons in the terrarioum with a .45 caliber revolver, as an unidentified red head clone mops his brow.