Dorking Magma - A writer from the Spoof website was in shock tonight as a strange oily apparition began, er, manifesting all over his £4.95p doner kebab wrapper.... just as he turned 54 years of age!
At first glance the trompe l'oeil looked a dead ringer for Not Only...But Also comic genius Peter Cook - or at least one of his famous pork pie hats.
Then a blob of reddish Harrissa Sauce camouflaging some ubiquitous coleslaw began mimicking our protagonist's face until Turin Shroud-like a spooky effigy popped out right there in the middle of Dorking Bloody High Street.
A string of beer-induced profanities about suspected mind-bending properties of Ali & Gunzer Kebab Shack's flame-grilled psilocybin best seller did little to make the image go away.
"Missus'll bleeding kill me if she thinks I'm on the acid," was the muffled cry on the Night Bus home.
"Unless of course it's that dastardly Spoof crew in cahoots with the busty barmaid down The Old Milking Machine, hic."