Written by Joe Leff
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 5 December 2011

image for Pedestrian dies after being hit by seven cars

Cheers turned to tears after a series of 'accidents' on the A58 near Halifax - all involving the same pedestrian.

Brad Lee Bruzed was well-known in the area as a prolific jay-walker. According to friends and relatives he was attempting to beat the British record for 'being hit by the most vehicles in 1 hour'. The current record is nine, and is held by 'Iron Man' Ivor Rubberbum - a notorious drunkard often seen lunging off the pavements in Birmingham.

The first car - a Reliant Robin - merely ruffled Mr. Bruzed's hair. But the next vehicle was a taxi, which knocked him over - and then stopped to pick him up. After a brief argument, Mr. Bruzed stormed off - right into the path of a 4x4. Mr. Bruzed shouted back with four of his own 4-letter words.

After several more cars had hit him, the seventh - a hearse - left Mr. Bruzed flattened in the road. Apparently he was still alive, but the hearse reversed and ran over him again. "We thought a body had slipped out the back of the hearse", said the undertakers.

Even if he had survived, Mr. Bruzed would have been disqualified in his attempt at the record, because " it is an offence to lie in the road when a hearse is reversing", said a local policeman, shrugging his shoulders as if this was just another normal day around here.

Make Joe Leff's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 1?

5 11 3 4
74 readers are online right now!

Go to top