Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Friday, 2 December 2011

image for Andrew Flintoff's £4 Nativity Play Beef - You Don't Know You're Born, Says Dorking Mum
How much would you pay?

Andrew Flintoff's Tweeted beef at paying £4 to see his daughter's school nativity play has been mocked by a Dorking mum.

The test cricket hero went to watch seven-year-old daughter Holly perform at her Surrey primary school, but Tweeted: "... hope it's good, they've charged 4 quid a head. Only in Surrey!"

Multi-millionaire Flintoff and his family moved to Cobham, headquarters of rock band The Moody Blues, last year.

But down the road at Dorking, beleaguered parents would welcome paying just £4 to see their little darlings acting out the Christmas story.

"Only four quid! Freddie doesn't know he's born," said Mrs Christina Rossetti, who is no relation to the celebrated Victorian poet.

"Since that bloody book The Dorking Review became a world-wide smash, everything in this town costs about ten times as much. Before that book came out, all we had to pay at the school play was 50p for a cup of tea or a quid for a glass of wine.

"Now with all the megastars and Hollywood types hanging out here with those Review writers, it's £50 for a seat at the back of the hall. And the kids have to run the gauntlet of paparazzi outside the school gates.

"Four quid? I should be so lucky."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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