Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 1 December 2011

image for Diplomatic service CEO slams royals' London 2012 gravy train bung
Fly-by-knight deal

London - The head of the UK Diplomatic Corpse has denounced Wills, Kaye and Harry for gorging their snouts in the Olympics gravy train trough.

Sir Archibald Hoggsworth-Attashay said today the newly appointed London 2012 ambassadors 'were only in it for the platinum card expenses'.

Their itemised plastic statements would only ever be seen by UK 'culture' minister Lady Bigamista Cosy Fanny Tutti-Frutti in a secret deal with card issuer Virgin-on-the-Northern-Rocks Bank.

"Bloody disgraceful if you ask me," Sir Archie's PPS tweeted today.

"Stupid young woman's never had a job in all her life - and now she'll be on squillions' expenses in this fly-by-knight deal."

The trio had not even tendered their wannabe services to the appropriate Appropriations Committee that's considering the hiring of other Olympics 'ambassadors'.

In fairness, however, the only other candidates appear to be a mixed ragbag of also-ran tosspots, geriatric hasbeens and friends of the Kray Twins.

These include Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne, farces sweetmeat - er...sweetheart! - Dame Very Lynn and Mrs Thatcher's son Mark.

David Icke is 104.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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