Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 28 November 2011

image for Palace staff to join other public sector workers for Wednesday's strike
All your bloody fault, George, even the corgis will walk out on Wednesday

London - Bang goes Wednesday's investiture ceremony that would have gonged-up former News of the World veterans with glitz and gilt (sic).

News that Buckingham Palace's 250-strong brigade of footmen, butlers and assorted ermine fluffers will join the public sector protest march has brought the Queen out in a cold sweat.

The final straw came with reports that Princess Beatrice and Eugenie 'will walk the final 100 yards' in their $400-a-pop Louboutins in a gesture of solidarity with the aggrieved.

Dubbed by the media as the Two Ugly Sisters Prince Andrew's gals are still seething against government cutbacks excluding them from joining the Palace's gravy train handouts.

Brought up with the traditional values of the idle and workshy Bea and her sis face a lifetime of penury as news of their imminent eviction from a St James's Palace apartment broke today.

Commercial rent hikes mean a two up-two-down rental 'in somewhere like Deptford' will be all that their royal housing benefit cheques will support.

Also facing the redundancy slagheap is disgraced ex-RBS CEO Fred 'The Shred' Goodwin's little cuckoo Sophie Wessex, daughter of the Queen's son by Sir Terence Con-Artist.

Speaking to reporters from a Royal Mews lock up one Palace worker said today that 'loads' of royal wannabes and also-rans are likely to join the protest...if not actually march:

"Call it payback for a lifetime of lousy Xmas bonuses," assistant coachman Reg Bolt complained.

"HM will just have to make to with a take away kebab at supper time because all the Palace chefs will be out on strike, heheh."

The march begins at noon near Hyde Park Corner 'and ends in Tyburn Gate' (if you believe Prince Philip!)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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