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Sunday, 27 November 2011

image for 'MoD paranoia' has kept backbencher MP's George Cross classified for nearly 30 years
Archive pic of the alleged incident showing heavily disguised Home Guard troops

London - Details of an eminent UK Parliamentartian's George Cross medal have been mothballed from the public domain ever since Mrs Thatcher's first term of office in the 1980s.

According to reliable Whitehall sources the gong was awarded for 'incredible bravery at a UK nuclear power plant incident connected to foreign acts of terror' - thinly disguised as 'Irish republicanism'.

"That 'IRA' flag of convenience moniker was always the norm in Mrs Thatcher's premiership days," Brigadier Sir Monty Dambusta commented this morning.

"Damned KGB had us all fooled until the Mad Libyan Colonel's semtex ruse was sourced to Soviet rouble payments at the Queen's bank."

Another whistleblower who insists on anonimity has hinted that daft Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin himself was involved - and personally thwarted - by the successful operation subsequently linked by Special Branch to future New Labour Party recruits.

Other details remain unclear and despite the immensity of the gong recipient's bravery no serving Member of Parliament has ever even dropped the smallest hint to reveal his/her identity.

"Apart from some smug-ass has-beens, now kicked upstairs to the Lords, whose talent for siphoning off others' reflected glory is the very stuff of Parliamentary legend," Dambusta added helpfully.

Rumors that 'it's Ann Widdecombe/Edwina Curry/Jonathan Aitken' remain rife despite widespread common sense.

Disgraced tosspot Jeffrey Archer is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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