Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Sunday, 27 November 2011

image for Prince Harry to enter NASA's Astronaut Training Program!
"Houston. we have a problem. There's no chocolate here for me to take back for Wilsy""

Prince Harry is to enter NASA's Astronaut Training Program. However, it is unlikely he will begin his initial two year astronaut training phase at NASA's Johnson Space Centre in Texas until January as he feels he should be spending at least some time this Christmas with his elderly grandparents.

Even if he passes the initial 2-year training program with flying colours there would be no guarantee of him being then being offered a place on the next stage of becoming an astronaut, but there can be little doubt that having a royal astronaut taking part in one or NASA's spaceflight missions would be an exciting prospect for the American public. It would also be a boost to the economies of both Britain and America given the many royal astronaut toys and so on sure to be in demand. If chosen to become one of the candidates waiting to be selected for an actual space flight mission Harry will then enter what is called 'the advanced mission training phase', a 10 months period of training for an actual mission in space.

Super-fit Harry, since being accepted on the program he has been carrying a rucksack full of wet sand on his back when running 20 miles every morning before breakfast, is unlikely to find any difficulty in passing the required level of physical fitness, and his ability to pass the arithmetic exams, answering all the questions correctly without the use of a calculator, should not be a problem for him as he has become very good at counting down since playing darts with his army pals, and says he now knows most of the complicated check out routes by heart. The count down is of course a very important part of any space mission, though fortunately it isn't necessary for astronauts to be able to count up correctly.

Older brother Prince William, a mere helicopter pilot, insists he will feel no envy when watching his brother zooming up into orbit and beyond. He says he will just be biting his nails and praying for his safe return, and hoping of course that none of the other crew members on the space mission let his younger brother down.

Prince Harry is still a relatively young man at 27 - Neil Armstrong was 38 when he became the first man to set foot on the moon back in 1969 - and so could eventually go one better than Neil by becoming the first man to set foot on Mars. William says he'll be expecting his brother to bring him back a bar of chocolate if that ever happens.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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