In a move that is bound to face relief or criticism the Government has pledged to end the National Health Service.
This move cuts the ground from under the protesters who never end their complaints about Government cuts and waiting times.
'In one dramatic gesture' said Prime Minister David Cameron 'we are ending all the grumbles. I love the NHS and it has always been good to me. But I and many others are sick and tired of people complaining. We are ending all that. You can't complain about the NHS if there isn't one!'
Backbench Tory MP's tired of the Government's weakness, caused by drivelling Liberals, are pleased with the new resolve. 'Health care, like the best schools, should not be for those who lower the tone of our society' said Felicity Bognor Regis noted for her medical knowledge gained whilst on a recent world tour of beach resorts.
A programme to stop people pretending to be ill is being worked on and will be ready for introduction shortly. 'We already have loafers and skivers pretending to be ill so they get benefits' said Felicity 'we shall end this and stop anyone else, without sufficient resources, from pretending to be ill in future. Anyway we all know a good walk and fresh air will cure almost any illness. I should know as Ms Bognor Regis, after all' she joked.