Written by ExiledRoyal
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Sunday, 13 November 2011

image for Copycat thefts as Derby robbed of all its Christmas lights in £20k burglary
Not coming to a Town Centre near you

THIEVES have robbed a city of all its Christmas lights... and even stole the lorry workers were going to use to put them up. They made off with the £20,000 haul from a council storage area in Derby, just seven days before the big switch-on ceremony.

The council says it could be a real struggle to find replacements. Phil Derbyshire, head of maintenance and energy, said: "Clearly there is high demand for these products at this time of year."

Detective Chief Superintendant Mike Arbrokedown of Derby Constabulary told us, "We have a few leads. But that's all they left... a few leads."

Interestingly, Liverpool City Council have announced that they are to put up extra festive lighting this year amounting to 'about £20,000 worth', according to one source.

In a seeming copycat robbery local residents in Ellesmere Port have been disappointed to see their own display disappear from the High Street. Shop owner Dilbert O'Crackenhauss said, "They were there last night, but this morning... gone. There must have been, oooh, pounds worth. Maybe even £30 quid's worth. The bastards even broke into my shop and stole all the coffee. I just don't know how they can sleep at night."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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