Romanian immigrants who managed to cross the great divide, 25 miles from there to here, illegally, and after being round-up are being given the chance to stay in the UK if they can fathom out one Times crossword in 48 hours. Otherwise they will be sent back across the great divide on a leaky WWII Folkestone fishing boat once used at Dunkerque.
Several Romanians, including a Bucharest University professor of latin + other classic languages managed one across and two down and was consequently booted out.
An unemployed mountain sheep farmer from the Dracula region fluent in Russian, Romanian, Bulgarian, Hungarian, Albanian, etc, also managed one across and one down and promptly joined his fellow countryman on the boat back.
Several others were tested, but failed miserably because anything David Cameron can do, illegal immigrants should be able to do also.
BNP leader, Nick Griffin, was outraged at the high level of entry criteria required and called Cameron a "Nazi Schwein" and down-right racist. Cameron countered and challenged Nick to attempt the Times crossword; he failed miserably only scoring one across and one down.
Griffin was last seen paddling for his life with a bunch of very rough looking, gold-teethed, linguistic genius's towards Le Grand porte de Calais.
One cryptic clue that Griffin couldn't answer was: If a Boston, Lincs, cabbbage farmer says "non" to illegals what does he actually mean?
Answer which Nick Griffin failed upon was:
Je suis une ethnic cleaner.