Written by armfeetandtoe
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Topics: Dogs, Poo

Sunday, 6 November 2011

image for Dog Sh*t Sniffers out in force in London
Officer June Plumb seeks out an Alsatian in Chelsea

The Government has unveiled its latest weapon against the rising tide of dog owners who do not pick up after their dogs have placed one on the pavement or in the park.

The roll of the sniffers will be to sniff the dog turd, and using highly trained nasal senses, track the mutt and owner, issuing them with a fine or the opportunity to clean up the mess themselves, using their toothbrush and a brillo pad.

Mayor of London, Boris Johanson, said; "It is awful when one slips on a Richard, the passers by assume you are mad, doing a ditty in the street, when in fact, one is trying to scrape the tom tit off one's brogues. The Dog Shit Sniffers will help put a stop to the skid mark brigade".

Chief Dog Shit Sniffer, Dia Rhia, Stated, "We are in control of the streets and parks now, no more the dog leaves a log and the owner walks away pretending they didnt see it. My men, and women, are dedicated brown nosers that will find you and your pippin if you foul the pavement".

Mr Terry Nonput, became the first person to be caught by the Sniffers today, when his four Great Danes left a pile on the pavement in Fulham. At his home in Orbain road, Fulham, Mr Nonput denied knowing his dogs had fouled.

"Dey is only going wen I go, so I went, but they didn't. It was me who shit, not the dogs".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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