Four BBC News readers have been arrested on suspicion of causing the spontaneous unexplained deaths of 24 people.
They are also being sued by the families of those 24 people after they claim their loved ones were bored to death by the channel's extensive Eurozone crisis coverage.
"It was like an overdose of Propofol" Said One Viewer's wife. "My husband didn't stand a chance. He died of boredom administered by the BBC."
Serious news watchers have deserted the BBC in droves this month after a fortnight devoted to nothing but the Eurozone crisis. But no one expected anyone to die.
A spokesman for the BBC has argued that "Even though we admit our news readers supplied the boredom, the viewers didn't have to sit there and watch. They could've walked away at any time. They're just being blamed for the actions of Michael Jackson...sorry the lazy viewers."
A policeman from the Metropolitan police has refused to comment on the fact that they failed to follow up the complaints of the boring deaths because they were watching Autumn watch.
An undercover Sunday Sun witness dressed as a fake sheik said the policemen were frightened of dying if they went to the BBC news studios. They felt the situation was more dangerous than the Fukishima Nuclear fallout zone, so they watched lovely calming nature footage of Geese arriving from cold countries instead.
The investigation continues. A verdict is expected in the next few days...without a trial.
By Katarina Frogpond.