Chancellor George Osboring has put forward plans to tax Gay men. His new stealth tax will be brought into force in the next tax year without a commons vote.
Mr Osboring said; "Gay men spend far to much money on curtains cushions rugs piercings and pink gin. The money should be invested in government bonds if the Gay men do not want to invest their money wisely we will do it for them by levelling a tax on their sexuality and lifestyle".
Asked how the tax would be enforced, Mr Osboring replied; "We have brought in a senior detective from Scotland Yard who will have a thousand strong workforce to find and serve tax papers on the men."
Detective Stanley Spittle was asked how he would identify the Gay men that the government intended to tax.
"Well my task force and I have had extensive training and we shall be using that experience to identify our targets. We shall be trawling public toilets, night clubs bars and cinemas showing Ava Gardener and Betty Davis films. My team will be looking for men that stand with their hands on their hips saying things like; "ooh dear" and "Look at the muck on ere". We shall also be investigating men that wear pink trousers and cravats".
When it was pointed out that Gay men come from all walks of life and are not stereotypical of the satirical comedy typecast, Detective Spittle replied; "I don't know about that, but I do know a poof when I see one".
Gay rights campaigner Peter Satchel said; "If the government think that Gay men will pay a tax on their sexuality and lifestyle they are mad. We shall all move to the Isle Of Wight and open bed and breakfast hotels they will never find us".