Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Friday, 4 November 2011

image for Children's Books Banished To The Top Shelf
Time for bed, one last time...

In a move which has outraged traditionalists in children's education, many UK book shops have removed a number of much loved children's favourites from shelves and placed them in the adult section of their shops. Books have been withdrawn on the grounds of racial prejudice, or because they offend the sensibilities of some fragile sections of society.

First on the hitlist is the 1930s favourite, Tintin In The Congo, which is now to be shrink-wrapped and given a content warning, because one of its characters, a little black boy, is called Sambo. Even in the upcoming Tintin movie, Sambo will be a child of mixed ethnicity, who was adopted by a middle class family in Hemel Hempstead.

Biggles has been banned for aggressively waging war and Billy Bunter is now responsible for every fat kid that ever got beaten up in a school playground. Even the lovable Bagpuss has been deemed too insensitive to ladies who chose to have large families.

Meanwhile, other children's bestsellers, such as Why Don't You Build Your First Meth Lab, The Ladybird Book Of Public Disorder and Janet & John Navigate The Benefits System are selling like hotcakes and are soon to be compulsory reading for primary school children.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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