Written by j.w.
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Topics: Prison, Babies

Thursday, 27 October 2011

image for Babies to be Locked Up
Fishy Think Tank

A Think Tank funded by someone in the Cayman Islands has suggested to the government a radical overhaul of the Penal system.

Proposals include locking up children who cry too much, punishing schoolboys who wield cricket bats and sending girls who wear too few schools to designated Convents.

Justice Secretary Kenneth Clark, who only yesterday said locking up babies of 2 0r 3 was 'perhaps going too far' has revised his opinion fearing another Backbench revolt if he is seen to be too soft on misbehaviour. Now he has said the Think Tank - known as Fishy - has some cogent ideas.

However the Daily Mail thinks Fishy is wishy washy. 'Where is whipping for young boys who pull their trousers down?' screamed a headline.

Backbench Tory Cedric Vile explained that the old age argument about too many prisons was countered. Unemployed men could volunteer for the work of building prisons in order to get benefits and housing problems would be solved overnight.

Lib Dems, however, are unhappy about the suggested moves. Nick Clegg explained :'You may want to lock up the children next door who are crying all night but they would be upset. We propose a less draconian approach - locking up children who are at least five year's old.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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