Written by birbee
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Monday, 24 October 2011

image for Local Man Planning to Do Something
You'll Never Take Me Awake

Local Man and One Time Wannabe Entrepreneur, Seaton Carew, today announced that he was considering a return to actually doing something to see if it would be noticed.

Carew, previously an ex-thespian and almost ran, has admitted that he hasn't done anything for quite a while after losing his humeruses, humeri, humerus's (call them what you will) in a freak camping accident earlier this year.

Allegedly, camping has turned out to be the hapless holiday-maker's weakest strong point and he has subsequently vowed never to do it again.

"It wasn't so much the tent, but the tent pegs," Mr Carew, 42, told us, "when they went in I had to pull them out and that's when it happened."

Following a successful operation, surgeons managed to re-fit the humeri, however it is not yet known if they are working correctly, or even in the right arms, as doctors fear they could be handed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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