Written by Eurocleese De Zouch
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Topics: Art

Monday, 24 October 2011

Famous Swedish Painter Lloyd van Oobstratten was videoed ejaculating numerous objects, whilst visiting the infamous Edwardian Obelisk, just outside the Welsh capital, Rhyl.

Onlookers reported that Mr van Oobstratten had started to parade around the Obelisk at around 2.30pm on Sunday afternoon. He then apparently started to howl, and immediately pulled his trousers down. He asked a mother of three (who wants to remain anonymous) whether he could hold on to her, otherwise he may collapse.

Thirty seconds later, the howling got louder, until one final gasp caused the award winning Painter to ejaculate a complete sesame seed loaf of bread. The audible pain continued, and two minutes later, he produced a Puffin from his scrotum. For the next three hours, various objects were released from his loins, including a picture of a Pigeon, a wooden leg, a yawning photo of Busta Rhymes, and numerous pieces of hand carved cutlery.

Debbie Oswald, Coffin maker and part-time mime artist who retrieves the sign language for the local 'paper, The Rhyl Umlaut, said "I was transfixed by his groin for the full three hours. It was a magnificent sight. I want him to bear my children."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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