Written by Wat Tyler
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Topics: Royalty

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Prince Andrew is reported to be absolutely livid that his daughters are being prevented from becoming working royals. It has long been common knowledge that Andrew believes his family are genetically suited for their role and since he is now the 'senior royal with an interest in business' he argues that his daughters, being Windsors, and therefore genetically predisposed to be royal, also have a penchant for business.

When asked why Edward Earl of Wessex had recently wound up his production company Ardent because it was bust, and why, if Windsors are genetically suited to their role, Edward had singularly failed to make it a success, Andrew is quoted as saying 'Harumph!!!! How dare you ask a pertinent question! Bugger orf!'

Princess Eugine and Beatrice, in anticipation of their father's campaign on their behalf being successful, are currently practising the skills that will be required as royals, putting their names on the letterheads of charities, waving from the elbow and enunciating the words 'this cause is close to my heart' and 'I am absolutely passionate about this cause'

Prince Andrew confirmed that his ex-wife Sarah Ferguson will be employed as their daughters' life coach should their admission onto the gravy-train, I mean into the royal 'working' family, be approved.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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