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Monday, 17 October 2011

Manchester United full-back Patrice Evra has highlighted his skin colour as being the key factor in the on-field abuse he continually receives from opposition players, rather than his being a reprehensible twat for most of his working day.

The Frenchman has accused Liverpool striker Luis Suarez of calling him the 'n' word during Saturday's lunch time clash at Anfield, the fourth occasion since arriving in England that he has been reportedly racially abused in a football stadia.

Evra told reporters that whilst his previous three allegations were never proven, he felt the fourth instance was much more likely to stick.

He said, 'Suarez is South American, everyone knows racism out there is as prevalent as the AIDS virus, and even more nasty.'

'I have learned the lesson that I must pin my accusations of racism on another foreigner, rather than British citizens like i did the last few times when I made up some stories.'

'It sits much easier with the public when it is not one of their own who are being dragged through the dirt.'

Sir Alex Ferguson demonstrated a similar grasp of xenophobia in his post matchTV interview when criticising the diving of Luis Suarez.

'I could never label a fellow Glaswegan, Charlie Adam, the man involved in the 'controversial' decision to award Liverpool the free-kick they scored from, a diver.'

'Not when I had the chance to pin it on a foreigner, like the boy Suarez.'

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