Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, YouTube megadrunk, alcoholic word slurrer, wobbly bike riding runner-up (2008) and alleged 'dental bridge or denture victim' got the shock of his life today after going for his first colonic irrigation session at the Dr Keith McGillian Analoscopy Clinic. (Analoscopy? - Ed) (It's where you go when you have a distinctly unfunny pain in the arse - Author)
Apparently, Shuttlecock showed up to meet Dr Izzy Tinnyet for a preliminary briefing, prior to the procedure. The doctor informed Littlecock (Sorry, Shuttlecock - crap gag - ed) that he would probably have various malcontented organisms swimming about up his back passage and that a good hot flush with salty water ought to resolve the problem.
Bracing himself, a somewhat reluctant Shuttlecock clambered up onto a sort of bed arrangement type of thing with stirrups attached and had his legs unceremoniously nailed to the apparatus.
"It wuz easier ridin' me bike wivvout a saddle, an that," he quipped.
Then Dr Tinnyet inserted a plastic nozzle, attached to a rubber tube into the gay dwarf's anus.
"Kinell!" Shuttlecock gasped. "That was a bit of a shock! Unlike some people who live in closets, I'm not accustomed to having me arsehole flooded with warm salty secretions!"
Further disturbance was experienced by the patient, as his arse was rather crudely power washed.
"It was horrible," Shuttlecock winced as he recalled the experience. "They showed me all this crap that they'd washed out of me arse under a microscope. Weird it was. It looked like it was some ugly woman and some fat baldy blokes shaking their fists at me. But Dr Tinnyet assured me that it was just tired old shit that they'd blasted off the walls of me anal canal. Will I be repeating the experience? Not bloody likely. I'll leave it to the experts!"
More as we get it.