Written by queen mudder

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Friday, 14 October 2011

image for Dump in the park nails Oliver Letwin
Dead letter 'long' drop

London - The time honored tradition invariably sees caught-short dumpsters reach for a handfull of grass from parks' prolific stinging nettle patches - unless of course some other, more absorbent material is handy.

Today red-faced Cabinet minister Oliver Letwin admitted to injudicious use of official papers as No 10 denied a back benchers' censure motion amid reports the 'relief effort' had been captured on video and posted on a government webshite ...er, website!

"Olly's a real recycling kinda chap," someone at the Royal Parks Agency tweeted today, "and should be applauded for the imaginative use of official letterheads that would otherwise have added to greenhouse gases if passed through an electronic shredder."

Eco-friendly dustbins in St James's Park are clearly labelled for the binning of bagged-up 'doggy-do'; however some 'daft' conspiracy theories about their use as 'dead letter drops' might have led officials to suspect the minister was 'leaving packages' for agents of some foreign power.

"Personally, I blame Osama Bin Laden for tarnishing the entire 'bin' moniker," park user Mrs Maisie Glottenstopp commented at lunchtime.

"Wanna see wide-angle pix of other ministerial asses, only a fiver a shot?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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