Written by queen mudder
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Topics: TV, Smoking, Pubs

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

image for 'Smoking' tellys banned from pubs
Flatscreens are a lot more 'low tar' than older, chunky models such as this

London - Sony Bravia LCD televisions have been banned from pubs and bars across the country after being caught smoking.

Melting screens, toxic fumes and pungent whiffs of combusting plastic have been widely reported despite some patrons' claims that 'they're actually very low tar' in comparison to older, chunky models such as the Bush 365.

The company said today it will issue a 'patch' downloadable from its website which will easily cure the problem once delivered via any standard 'scart' interface to a 'digibox'.

At Primrose Hill's Festering Ferret free house this lunchtime drinkers blamed a renegade batch of Chinese chest freezers for the problem after manufacturers were caught cashing in on the counterfeit luxury goods market and flooding Britain with 'fake' TVs.

Media reports earlier this year said the fridge freezers were responsible for more domestic fires than ubiquitous scented candles that were generally blamed for spates of blazes.

A ministerial decision on the removal of 100-inch flat screens from public places such as Trafalfar Square is pending.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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