Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Tuesday, 11 October 2011

image for Shopping Centres Overrun By Happy Snappers

Shopping centres around the country were overrun by hundreds of flashers today.

Snappy enthusiasts descended on the malls to pursue their hobby following the relaxation of rules banning photography.

The excitement comes after Chris White was challenged by security staff at Glasgow's Braehead centre yesterday when he took pictures of his four-year-old daughter Hazel eating an ice cream.

But an internet campaign has persuaded Braehead's owners to allow photography on their premises. The company owns centres in 11 UK cities.

"That's all very well," said a spokesman for the Horizons shopping centre, Hinckley. "But you can't move here for bloody amateur snappers.

"They're climbing all over the stairs and escalators, hanging from door frames, lying in planters trying to get their 'artistic' shots."

One mackintosh-clad enthusiast upset the female staff of a major chemist's chain by imploring them to 'c'mon girls, get 'em off - it'll be a tasteful calendar, honest."

"They're scaring off the customers," the spokesman continued. "It's like running the paparazzi gauntlet outside some poncey club down that London!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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