With the weather across Great Britain continuing to deteriorate, boredom with being stuck inside with depressing weather outside has claimed it's fifth victim of the weekend.
"It's becoming an epidemic," said PC Bacup of the South Wales Police department. "We don't know where it is going to strike next, or where it struck before. At this moment in time, we don't have anything to go on. No jokes about police toilets, please."
The latest victim, David Black, of the small Welsh village of Merthyr Tydfil, was found bored rigid in his front room by a neighbour.
"I don't understand it," said Cath Tiddles. "Dai was always so full of life before he died. As most people are, I suppose. I was rifling through his mail, when I saw him in the living room, as stiff as a bored, I mean board."
Being Welsh, the authorities are at a loss as to why the poor weather would be having such an affect on its victims.
"Well, it's been raining here since 1266, hasn't it," said Bacup. "We've never had cases like this before. You'd expect us to be used to it by now."
Black himself had shown no symptoms of the boredom epidemic before it struck, leading forensic investigators to conclude that boredom creeps up on people without them being aware, striking them dead before they can do anything about it.
"We're petitioning the government," said Bacup. "We'd like to put preventative measures in place to stop people becoming bored in the first place."
The preferred approach is to get the BBC to put something worth watching on the television.
The government have declined to pressure the BBC claiming that Strictly Come Dancing is top quality entertainment.
"If I didn't know better," said Bacup, "I'd say that this is a deliberate ploy of the government to force people to die of boredom and get the unemployment figures down."