Written by Inchcock

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Saturday, 8 October 2011

image for MP's 'So Drunk, they can hardly stand up' - a Tory MP claimed last night
Kenneth Clarke's Grand-daughter - following in his footsteps

Heavy drinking MPs are often so sozzled they can barely stand up in the Commons, a Tory MP claimed last night.

In an interview in one of the House of Commons 14 bars, a Tory MP who cannot be named for security reasons said; "Many stagger into the chamber with no clue what they are supposed to be voting for."

Sebastian Bryce Poncelroy then added; "The boozy culture of Parliament, which has almost a dozen restaurants, canteens and bars where members can drink alcohol greatly subsidised by the taxpayer."

Kenneth Clarke QC MP, Lord Chancellor, Secretary of State for Justice, joined us, and the drinks flowed.

After an hour or so our reporter could no longer see the members he was interviewing due to the King Edward Cigar smoke that Kenneth Clarke was smoking, nor could he understand the slurred words being spoken to him from both men at the same time, so had to abandon the interview, as he heard one of the men's body crash to the floor, followed by the sound of breaking glass, and a loud hiccup.

Critics have long complained cut-price booze fuels too much Commons jeering and heckling.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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