Written by Inchcock
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Topics: Police, Nottingham

Thursday, 6 October 2011

image for Nottingham's Goose Fair Opens
The busiest person at the Goose Fair

On Wednesday the weather was cool and windy, the rain threatening, as I walked down to have a look at the opening of the much longed for Nottingham Goose Fair.

I arrived about 1710hrs. It was still light. As I entered from the Mansfield Road entrance, I observed an ambulance crew and some police officers were treating a mugging victim near the bowling green.

I strolled down towards the fair ground, noticing the little groups of 'bouncers', 'stewards', 'security people'... call then what you will, chatting nervously to each other.

Being early, many of the stalls were still getting ready to open, while others were already robbing the kids on their £4 a ride daredevil rides, dodgems, etc.

I meandered through the confusion of stalls/rides and for the life of me could not find anyone with a smile on their face!

I wanted to take some photo's for this report, but with all kids around, I dare not.

I made my way through to Gregory Boulevard to walk home, amidst the cacophonous music emanating in competition with the other stands, each seemingly trying to be louder than the other... mind you there was some good old sixties songs in amongst them.

As I exited the site, I could see some police vehicles trying to get through the heavy traffic towards the fair, but despite their klaxon's and blue lights, were not having much luck. As I reached the spot where the emergency vehicles were stuck in the traffic, I noticed a certain look of contentment in the officers eyes.

As I passed by some crowds on their way to the Fair, I realised and appreciated how the kids of today can spit a lot further than we in our day could, but their foul language was repetitive rather than diverse.

The lager and cigarettes stored in the kids prams as the families approached the site of the Fair, at least indicated that they were going to have a good time!

The busiest people I could see were the traffic wardens, as they made such a pigs ear of an already impossible job.

I scurried off back to the relative safety of home, to write this drivel... er.. report.

A report from from Mr C Nile, our roving (but we have now recaptured him) reporter on the opening of the 2011 Nottingham Goose Fair!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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