Written by Big Stu
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Tuesday, 4 October 2011

image for Illegal immigrant's cat deported to Bolivia
Tiddles seen at Heathrow waiting to board his flight to Bolivia.

Home Secretary Teresa May was today under fire for her comments at the Conservative Party Soiree on the removal of a failed asylum seeker.

As part of a planned overhaul of the Human Rights and deportation acts, the Home Secretary quoted the example of a former student from Bolivia who could not be deported to his own country because he owned a pet cat. This claim was denied by the man's solicitor but also by backbench members of the party. The Right Honourable Justin Benchley told reporters: "The real question that the Home Secretary has failed to answer is not why the man was not deported, but why his cat was."

The Foreign Office has confirmed that the cat, Juan Sanchez de Tiddles, is understood to be living in a gutter in Sucre pending its appeal but has been given leave to apply for a British passport at the earliest opportunity. "It is an absolute disgrace and an affront to my dignity, old boy," said Tiddles, speaking through a British consulate interpreter. "I sold the exclusive rights to my story to the Observer and have just signed a film deal with Disney, I have no intention of coming back."

Following Tiddles' example, other pets have also asked to be deported, citing the reasons of better employment prospects, higher living standards and beter healthcare, although the numbers of pets wishing to be deported to China and Korea remains at zero.

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