Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 2 October 2011

image for UK obese musical genius farts Mozarts "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" perfectly!
Fatty Jim refuses to put a cork in it, after all he's a farting musical genius!

A musical genius has been discovered farting Mozart's symphonies (and others) perfectly. He is an obese gentleman from Hampstead and discovered that he had received this God-given talent by farting on the bog of a local McDonald's restaurant after devouring 10 hamburgers in one go. Others visiting the toilet could certainly smell something quite poignant.

The man, called Fatty Jim Bean (name changed for legal reasons and not wishing to upset our Spoof editor), put his talent to the acid test by visiting a male public toilet on Hampstead Heath because he knew that several classical musical directors and male ballet-dancers frequented the location to relieve themselves. Fatty Jim sat on the bog there after devouring several Big Mac Beanburgers (beanburgers are better for holding the notes over longer periods whilst farting) and played Mozart's "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" perfectly.

Coincidentally, Elton John was there and overheard Jim farting away and was determined "to get to the bottom of it". Elton introduced him to some of his very close male friends in the classical musical fraternity and now Fatty Jim will be playing live at the Albert Hall; it's a sell out.

The illustrious guests will be given gas masks before they enter the hall and there is also to be a Royal Performance for the Queen who will wear her brand-new designer, diamond studded gas mask, for the occasion. It promises to be quite a gas!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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