Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: Local, barking

Monday, 3 October 2011

image for Barking Barking man's bite worse than his bark
This dog alone would make a shit zoo

A Barking man is in court for killing and eating pet dogs in his neighbourhood. Paddy Green Chum, 46, from Korea, moved into the area a few weeks ago and was believed to be working as a dog walker. His home-made advertisements for dog-walking can be seen on lamp-posts throughout the area - one says "I take your dog out for walk and dinner".

However, it appears that there was a terrible misunderstanding. After finding ten people willing to trust their dogs to him, he then butchered them all and ate them. When the owners enquired later about their missing pooches, they were rather distraught to see Mr Chum enthusiastically rubbing his belly and saying in broken English, "You dog very tasty."

Lawyer Milcolm Dry was in court to defend Mr Chum. "My client is only following his own country's customs. In Korea it is common to collect up all the stray dogs in your area and make them into a delicious stew. Are we really going to say that our way of looking after dogs is better? Isn't that a little bit racist? Koreans have their rights too, and surely that includes the right to eat dogs. If you don't allow Mr Chum to follow his country's customs, you must be a racist."

The court's decision is due next Tuesday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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