Government Minister Eric Pickles has found his wife's boy friend's Kitten in a dustbin in Leeds. This has led him to decide to introduce weekly bin collections in an effort the transform the Tory Image and to find more stranded kittens.
'At one blow' he told reporters 'I will make the Tories synonymous with Rubbish and help to track down the serial cat and kitten stealers in our midst'.
David Cameron, freshly back from Libya for the Tory Party Conference welcomed the Pickles move. 'When it comes to rubbish' he said 'we Tories know what we are talking about.'
The National League for Pussy Protection welcomed the Pickles move. 'We are hearing of pussy abuse from all over the country' said spokescat Virginia Puddles 'we are delighted that Eric Pickles has got the dustbin danger for pussies under control.'
When the Daily Mail asked a representative sample of its readers what they thought of the Pickles campaign to save Britain from Catastrophe, an overwhelming 98% thought this was the most important step the Government had taken since coming into office.