Written by Big Stu
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Topics: Environment

Friday, 30 September 2011

image for Environment activists warn of extinction of the Toilet Duck
Is this the end of the Toilet Duck?

Following the shocking revelation ithis week about the expedition to find the source of the Ganges, environmental group Greenpeas has called upon the government to take action to protect the critically endangered Toilet Duck.

This rare species is bred in captivity and is ritually sacrificed in many households. These brightly coloured creatures are held upside down and then squeezed until their precious lifeblood pours out through their mouths into domestic lavatories. When all of the blood is harvested, the drained body of the duck is then discarded.

It is not known how many of these creatures are left in the wild.

When told about this treatment, the Prime Minister vowed to take immediate action and has set up a reserve in Norfolk where Toilet Ducks can be protected. Nest boxes are due to be installed and it is hoped to have several breeding pairs established within two to five months.

Jenny Heduparse, of CRAPPER, the Campaigns for Rural Agricultural Policy Protection, Eductation and Research, has said this is not enough.

Fearing that the Toilet Duck may become extinct in the wild, she is taking the campaign direct to Brussels.

"I was appalled when I was told what happens to these poor ducks," Jenny said today. "Our Toilet Ducks are being flushed away and action must be taken. These helpless creatures are disappearing down people's lavatories and it's time for the government to step in."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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