Written by Big Stu
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Tuesday, 27 September 2011

image for Has the Queen taken up Voodoo?
Prince Andrew lands back in London after his meeting with the Welsh Assembly

Royal correspondents were today left bemused by reports of bongo drums being played in the gardens of Buckingham Palace in the early hours of yesterday morning.

This report comes less than a week after chicken carcasses were reportedly found than a hundred yards from the queen's private chamber at Balmoral and unconfirmed reports of figures seen dancing around the grounds of the Scottish palace while wearing large elaborate masks adorned with feathers and tufts of dry grass.

This has led some to speculate about the Queen's reservations regarding the future of the Church of England following the split among the Anglican community over the issues of gay marriage and women bishops.

Some have suggested that the Queen is trying to distance herself from the orthodox church by embracing other faiths, including Hinduism, Rastafarianism and, most recently, Haitian voodoo. Suspicions were further raised when, at a visit to Sandhurst Military College, her majesty commented that one young officer she met was: "in league wit de great darkness" and "him be reeking of de odder side."

The Queen was also quoted at a charity dinner last week as telling the homeless: "don cha be tekkin' no raz man, you not de servants of Babylon."

The palace has made no official comment on these claims, stating only that the bones have said it is not the right time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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