A young soldier will make history today. He is taking the British Army to the law courts in the Strand, where he will claim they made his life a misery, and abused his human rights.
Top military lawyer, Colonel Stan Down, says the army are not to blame for the young lad's misfortune, and they will do everything in their power to make sure the army and its reputation are kept intact.
Private Parts' suffering started the day he arrived on the parade ground. During the morning roll call, he called out his name, and the whole platoon fell about laughing, which caused such chaos, the platoon commander, lost all discipline and control over the other troops.
There was another young soldier named; "Private Dancer", but he did not receive the kind of response, Private Parts did. Since that day, Private Parts has suffered the most appalling ribbing from officers and other ranks on a daily basis. Every time he is asked his name, there is a howl of laughter, to the point where soldiers are unable to catty out their duties. We say, he should have been protected.
Responding, Lawyers for the military stated; Private Parts did not help himself by mincing onto the parade ground, where he put hands on his hips and declared; "Who's the queen with the big stick?".
Judge Advocate, Major Morris Minor, said he would reserve judgement because he had problems on his first day on the parade ground.