Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Sunday, 25 September 2011

image for EU Ruling Means Smaller Tea Bags From Next Year!
Asian 'Tea Tree'

Following a ruling passed in Brussels last week the size of a tea-bag sold or brewed within EU member states is to be a maxiumum 20mm x 23mm from next year - slightly smaller than a traditional British postal stamp.

During the last six months many thousands of used tea bags thrown away as rubbish by EU citizens across the EU have been collected by EU officials from council rubbish tips then examined by scientists to see how much drinkable tea they still contained. The findings were astonishing. More than a hundred cups of strong tea could still be made from an average of just twelve of the thrown away soggy tea bags.

It is believed that by making the tea bags smaller will bring a significant reduction in the amount of tea bags arriving at the rubbish tips and so help EU member states to achieve the required reductions in greenhouse emissions.

The Prime Minister, an occasional tea drinker himself, says that by and large he agrees with the new ruling as he feels it will encourage people to drink weaker tea and so make it a little easier for the people of Britain to get through the next round of austerity measures he is determined to inflict on them.

"This is not banning those who can afford it from drinking strong cups of tea" he said, "and for those lucky few it will hardly be any great inconvenience for them to drop an extra small tea bag into their cups."

A further ruling is expected to be passed in Brussels next week making it a requirement for all tea bags sold within the EU from next year to come with tea bag tweezers in the boxes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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