Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Sunday, 25 September 2011

image for Chiswick Literature Lovers Riot Over Controversial Book
Reading The Dorking Review

A leafy west London suburb was once again clearing up and counting the costs after a night of violence, believed to have been sparked by the now infamous book The Dorking Review.

The trouble began after previously unknown internet comic genius Martin Shuttlecock appeared on YouTube reading extracts from the book.

A bystander says: "About 10pm I was in the George the Fourth across the High Road from the big book shop, which I can't name, but it has to do with H20 and rocks. Anyway, people started gathering outside and demanding the store open.

"Well, I thought there must be a new Harry Potter book launch or something so I went to see what was going on.

"This posh bloke who reckoned to be some literature professor or some such started shouting, 'No to The Dorking Review! Keep it out of Chiswick!' Chiswick doesn't want The Dorking Review!"

When no-one from H20 rocks turned up to listen to the crowd's protests, they went on the rampage in Devonshire Road. Police reportedly took until dawn to gain control of the situation.

A police spokesman said: "You again? Riots in Chiswick? Look, who tells you this stuff?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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