Written by Nick Hobbs
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Friday, 23 September 2011

image for Local Ploughing Match Ruined By Villager
A tractor, which occasionally pulls a plough, but is nothing like a Rotavator, which is a palindrome, don't you know?

Anger took hold within the local farming community this weekend, when a vandal ruined their annual ploughing match.

The event, designed to reward the best ploughmen for their craft, was to be held in fields just outside a small village in Kent on Saturday, when a vandal struck during Friday night, ruining the whole match for everyone.

Police have arrested a local man, Ted Ridge, 62, on suspicion of vandalism to property, and are holding him for questioning.

Local Farm Union representative, Burt Furrow told us "well, we were mortified. We went up t'top field early on Saturday mornin', and were astounded to find the whole bloody field 'ad already been ploughed! Bloody cheek of it, eh?"

It is alleged that Ridge, who had been in disputes with two local farmers over noise issues outside his property during the summer harvest, broke in to the field at around 10pm Friday night, and proceeded to till the land with his petrol powered Honda Rotavator.

"The suspect was detained by our officers," said Superintendent Barry Seedbed of the Kent constabulary, "still working the field at 8am this morning. Unfortunately the damage caused was too vast to allow the ploughing match to continue."

"We are all deeply upset," said Martha Bintyson-Patronised-Smythe, local councillor, "we all look forward to this event, and to think that one of our own has spoiled it for everyone, really gets ones gander."

If convicted, Ridge faces a lengthy ban from all fields in the local area.

The match has been postponed until next year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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